AMDP Investment Opportunity

From:     Allen Gozini, Investment Analyst

To:          Clark Hansen, CEO

Subject:  Poopsenders Investment Opportunity

Date:       March 3, 2016

Hello Mr. Hansen,

I hope all is well.

After searching for a green business worthy of your time, I have finally found the perfect company to fit into your investment portfolio! The idea may take a little getting used to, but I can assure you that the Poopsenders is a socially responsible, environmentally sustainable, and profitable company — exactly what you’re looking for.

Before I go into further detail about Poopsenders, I would like to briefly explain some standards to consider:

Triple Bottom Line

How do you calculate a full societal cost benefit analysis of a company? This may be a little difficult given qualitative factors alongside quantitative variables, but the triple bottom line approach, which includes social responsibility, social enterprise, and carbon footprint may help!

Social Responsibility

Companies do not only have an obligation to put their shareholders in their best interest, but also have to weigh the company’s effects on environmental impact and the social wellbeing of a society. Companies should strive to go even further than satisfying environmental protection groups and regulations, and should ask themselves a simple question — Is my company helping to make my kids’ future a better place to live in?

Social Enterprise

When corporations are debating future plans, their strategies going forward should include a way to maximize improvements in human and environmental well being, focusing on social impact coupled with maximizing profits for shareholders.

Carbon Footprint

This can easily be calculated as the amount of greenhouse gas emissions caused by the corporation. There are hundreds of carbon footprint calculators online so there really is no excuse for a company to not be tracking their pollution! 

Side note: don’t be deceived by companies like Tesla which claim zero emissions, the carbon footprint should include all of the greenhouse emissions it causes, that means from manufacturing, shipping, and up to the end use of the product!

Now that you’ve got an understanding in the basic concepts of Triple Bottom Line, let me introduce to you the environmentally friendly company that you might as well call the “Money Printer” after you realize your returns…

Poopsenders

This company sends prepackaged fecal matter of various animal types to a mailbox of choice. This startup has definitely picked up steam since it was founded in 2013. Although we do not have a history of the financials for this private company, they are looking to expand and send their product to more doorsteps!

Environmental Responsibility

This company took advantage of poop that was left on the ground and translated it directly to revenue. How’s that for a social enterprise strategy! The reuse of the poop shows the social responsibility of Poopsenders by reinforcing the idea of not wasting any of the earth’s resources. The carbon footprint is limited to shipping the product only.

Why Use The Service?
There are endless numbers of reasons to send poop to people. Let me help you out with a few:

•        Have an ex-husband/wife, need I say more?
•        Does your neighbors dog poop on your lawn? Maybe he can get a taste of his own sh*t.
•       Has your boss been an assh*le, return the favor!

Testimonials

Here are a couple users of the service who were definitely satisfied with their poop experience:

You can say that Amber from San Diego had a delightful experience,

 “I sent my ex-boyfriend a pile of cow dung about 3 weeks ago and last week one of this friends came up to me in a club and told me about it and asked if it was me who sent it. He's pissed off and going nuts accusing friends, you could say that's like a two for one sale. FANTASTIC!”

And that Mary from San Francisco’s neighbor finally figured out how to appropriately approach her neighbor,

 “I sent a pile of poop to my neighbor that lets her dog shit in everybody's yard. She must have gotten the message because now she carries a plastic bag around with her and actually cleans up after the dog. She never did that before. Thanks for a job well done.”

What Your Money Can Help With

Now it’s your chance to help translate a pile of sh*t to cash. Poopsenders is looking to expand its operations and wants to start shipping across borders. With your money, this environmentally friendly company will be able to move a sh*t-ton of product, and will eventually go public. So what’s holding you back, join the sh*tshow today!

Works Cited

Poopsenders.com,. "Poopsenders - The ULTIMATE Gag Gift - SWEET Revenge At Its Finest". N. p., 2016. Web. 3 Mar. 2016.

Jacobs, Amber. "Poopsenders - The ULTIMATE Gag Gift - SWEET Revenge At Its Finest". N. p., 2016. Web. 3 Mar. 2016. - Testimonial

Sacre, Mary. "Poopsenders - The ULTIMATE Gag Gift - SWEET Revenge At Its Finest". N. p., 2016. Web. 3 Mar. 2016. - Testimonial